helluva_pilot | Drift Fleet Inbox

Calm down, Finn.

If it was Kylo Ren, if be throwing you into a shuttle so wet could go hide under General Kenobi's bed. But Hux?

He's nothing without his legions. Just a bully, alone. He has no friends here.

[Well, yes, but--

Somehow he'd never imagined Hux showing up here. His panic isn't visibly going down at all.]

That's not gonna stop him from telling everyone I'm a traitor and coming after me!

If he comes after you, he's going through me first, and that ain't gonna happen.

You should be proud to be a traitor to the First Order. Proud. It means you did the right thing.

That's not how anyone else will see it. They don't know the First Order.

Yeah, they know you.

Hux ain't a charmer. Give your friends some credit. And give me some credit for standing up for you too.

You gotta stand up for yourself. You did what was right. The First Order murders entire planets full of civilians. No one is going to be on his side unless they're just as evil.

[It's true that Hux isn't exactly likable. But he's still got the association with command that he'd been taught to fear as much as respect. The respect may not be there anymore, but the fear isn't so easy to get rid of.]

That's not how they present themselves, Poe. They're preserving order and keeping the galaxy from falling into chaos. They paint the Republic as corrupt and a place where they let people die from neglect, and--

[Take a deep breath, Finn.]

It'll be our word against his.

And anyone who buys into that order and preserving the galaxy crap, remind them that Hux decided the best way to do that was by blowing up an entire star system.

Yeah, it will. That's why he's not going to be a problem.

[Finn shivers, remembering that awful sight from Takodana and how he'd known what was going on, what they'd done. What they were willing to do again.]

Someone who's willing to do that won't stop at hunting down a traitor just because I ask him nicely, Poe.

You keep forgetting you have friends, Finn. You've got people to watch your back. He's got no one. He's a back lines commander who doesn't have Stormtroopers to order around and doesn't do his own fighting. You really think someone like that just showing up nowhere and playing high and mighty is going to get any kind of support from the people in the fleet?

So first order of business is we get your other friends on comms and make sure everyone's got your back just in case Hux does get chippy and think he's up to some kind of real fight.

[Everything Poe is saying is true. An officer without the power of his troops is far less of a threat, and the thing he likes about the Fleet is that they base their opinions on people by what they do while they're here, not what they did while they were at home.

And yet, even moreso than Kylo Ren or Leader Snoke, Hux is the one whose face was on the holos every day extolling the virtues of the First Order. To Stormtroopers, he is face of everything they represent.

So Finn nods, but he still looks unsure as hell.]

I'll ask Ahsoka to come over. If she's back to being older, I owe her another practice session anyway. You told General Kenobi, right? That I was First Order?

Yeah, I did. [He didn't know it was supposed to be some kind of secret.] You should be proud of what you've done, Finn.

[Poe's said things like that before, but Finn never feels right about it.]

But I don't, Poe. I don't feel proud that I was a Stormtrooper. I was the top of my class, did I ever tell you that? That I was considered very promising and exemplary and that I had great potential for killing innocent people.

[He crosses his arms.]

How much of that great potential did you end up meeting before you ran for it, hot shot?

[Finn frowns, not sure where Poe's going with this.]

None of it. The village was my first battle. I--I lied and said my blaster was jammed because I couldn't shoot anyone.

I get that you feel bad you were on the wrong side, Finn. But the point is that you got yourself out of there. I can guarantee that no one is going to give a crap about what you might have done. They're just going to care about what you actually did. Which was, technically, flushing a promising career out of the airlock and risking execution so you could save a dirty spy from prison and escape with him.

[Well, yes. But also no. If Hux didn't care, he wouldn't be in this pickle.]

Why should anyone trust me to do anything when I'm a traitor?

Why should anyone trust you if you were loyal to the side that thinks blowing up multiple planets is all right?

[Finn clenches a fist.]

Because I lied about it, okay? I never told anyone here I was from the First Order. I didn't want them to know that was the only life I ever had. So I said I was part of a trade fleet and we moved around so much I never had most of the things people took for granted. Not because I was raised with a number instead of a name.

[Your killin' him, Smalls.]

Then you got a choice. Either you tell everyone the truth, or you let Hux tell everyone the truth. I think if you explain the reason you lied, most everyone will understand. Especially with Hux showing up and looking like he's sucking on a turd.

[Finn's expression isn't much better right now, gritting his teeth.]

Because being a liar and a traitor is better than just one of those.

I thought I could--that this was a second chance. That I could get away. But it's never going to stop following me, is it?

[Finn, you are starting to wear out even Poe's patience a little with this traitor nonsense.]

A traitor to a bunch of goddamn mass murderers. Pfassk, Finn, would you listen to yourself for a minute? How the hell is loyalty a virtue when it's used for that?

[Maybe if the First Order would shut up about it....]

Look, Poe, I know they're awful. I know that as much as anyone and better than most. But all my life, the only thing that mattered was loyalty. That's it. That's what everything was measured by. That's the only virtue anyone could have.

And you've got a new life now. And a whole lot of other virtues to have, and there ain't anything wrong with loyalty if it's aimed at people who aren't going to treat you like you're nothing but a tool.

[He grabs Finn's shoulder and gives it a firm shake.]

You have a lot of friends who haven't even heard of the First Order, let along had all that Bantha dung shoveled into their heads all their lives. So you keep calling yourself a traitor, but put yourself in my shoes for a minute. Or Pinkie's. Or the captain's. Hell, put yourself in General Kenobi's shoes, he already knows you were a stormtrooper. Do you think any one of us gives the tiniest piece of poodoo what Hux thinks? Do you really think we see you as anyone other than a guy who had the strength to turn against all the lies he'd been fed for his entire life and still manage to do what was morally right?

[The shake doesn't touch off his combat instincts; on some level, he knows he needs it. He also doesn't interrupt during Poe's speech, though he gets visibly more miserable by the end of it.

If it was that easy to accept, he wouldn't have always tried to redirect when Poe called him brave, or a hero.]

Poe, the only people I ever knew always accepted everything he said without question. What the hell am I supposed to think?

You're supposed to look around and see you aren't there any more. I know it can't be easy, buddy, but stuff has changed. And it's changed because you made a good choice. So you gotta find a way of seeing what's different in this new life, and take it in. I don't know how else to say it.

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